Waiting.....

 I don't know of anyone who is fond of waiting, especially waiting for something bad. We are waiting, waiting until Friday morning, when my old Chow dog has his last meeting with the vet.

 Genghis has been with me through a lot. I got him in the early summer of 1999, and fuzzy waddling little poof of hair. (Along with his brother, who later disappeared during an escape from the yard.) Our son was 3 at the time, and he fell in love with the pups. Genghis has been with us through alot.

 We've known this day was coming for a while now. Genghis has a birth defect of his hips, and as he has grown older, it has become harder and harder for him to get up, often his hips will lock out of place, with the legs crossed, and I have to put them back in place so he can walk. The vet thinks he has been suffereing mini strokes for awhile as well. He knows me, but he is in a huge amount of pain, often growling and snapping with we try to handle or even pet him.

 Every pet owner has been through this struggle, the decision to put an elderly animal to sleep. People say all the well meaning things, like "It's for the best", "he's in pain, just let him go", and the all time doozy "It's the humane thing to do". Really? It is really the humane thing to do, kill an animal who remembers no home but yours? They say the dog is the only animal that will lick the hand of its killer. I've been told that keeping an ailing oldster alive is just selfish, but when Genghis drags himself through the house looking for me, or I watch him still being able to eat, and wag his tail just a little when he sees me, I second guess my decision. Am I doing this because it's the right thing to do, or because I can no longer stand to see him falling and being in pain? Is it really the right thing for him, or for myself?