Pain sucks!

 Yes, yes it does. What sucks even more is chronic pain, the kind lasting years, or your entire lifetime.

 Today is a bad day. It followed a horrible night. Following a run of bad days/nights. I totally get why people with chronic pain commit suicide. They have had enough.

 Pain is with me every day. I'm not talking a nagging ache here or there, I'm talking pain that runs the 1-10 scale usually no less than a 5. Today however, I woke up from a fitful doze to a solid 10. How embarrassing is it to have to wake your partner at 5:30 a.m. to help you because your legs are knotted in cramps so bad you can't stop it, and trying to stand would result in a fall.

 Every doc I have been to shrugs off my issues, or tells me that it is all due to my weight. Not one single one of them has offered any kind of DX, testing, nada. Just that same shoulder shrug, and "I've never heard of anything like that, no idea." and now when it is getting worse, thanks to Obamacare, our insurance has instituted a yearly deductible, which is more than we can afford to pay unless there is no other choice. And forget prescription drugs, most of those are out of our reach even if I was willing to take them. I'm not quite to the point I want to take a drug for a non-life threatening condition that one of the side effects is death.

 All I want to do today is crawl into bed and cry. I can't tho. I have a business to run, a family to tend to, and a million other things that can not wait. Today is a bad day.