Why is it so much harder at 60 than it was at 30?

  Aging has its ups and down. There are good days and bad days, both physical and mental. It can be a time to slow down and reflect, or a time of non-stop social interaction. The one thing that no one told me is that being an Aspie and trying to find friends at this age sucks. Maybe it is because people are no longer accepting as they age of anyone who  is different.  Maybe it's just me.

 I have finally started to come out of a several years long depression and illness which was compounded by the Plague. I have been getting out more and trying to be social. It has not been going well. I have reached out to several people I have knows for years, and the responses have been nil. Back when I moved to Austin, new friends were everywhere, it was easy to meet people. As the years went by I realized that the majority of them were only 'party friends', people you only see when there is a social gathering. Don't expect them to stick around when the going gets rough, they aren't interested in sick sad you, or even you as a person, they are only interested in what they can get out of you, and when you longer provide those things, they are away to the next person who can.

  When my sister died, I got 'thoughts and prayers'. My world had been destroyed, and not one single person here bothered to even come by to see how I was doing. They felt like waving some thoughts and prayers my way online was enough, and then they went about their day. I get it. This wasn't their tragedy, and they had zero interest in what I was going through, so why waste the energy? Not one single 'friend' bothered to even check on me in person. 

 Then I got sick and was hospitalized. Nothing contagious, I had lost vision in one eye and I was stuck in a hospital bed being pumped full of steroids. I regained my sight mostly. It was excruciatingly painful, and pretty terrifying. My husband would come for 30 minutes or so after work, but he had the household and all the animals to deal with. I spent 3 days alone, and exactly two people came to visit me, and they were a couple, so one visit. They even drove from the next town over to do it, and I can not express how much I enjoyed their visit and the comfort that they gave me. Radio silence from everyone else I knew in town. Then the plague struck and everyone was isolated. 

 Fast forward to now, and after a year of lifestyle change, I have finally started to regain some health, both physical and mental, and wanting to return to the world of the living. So I tried reaching out to people who I thought were friends. Boy, was I wrong. People aren't even bothering to return messages. It's not like I'm asking for money or anything, all I wanted to do is say hi, maybe hang out a little and catch up on with what's been going on. 

 Maybe it's where I live. I'm ready to switch gears in my life, live a bit slower, quieter pace than the hectic big city noise and constant hustle.  

Or maybe it's just me. Aspies can be a lot to handle, I get that. We're very Hobbit-like, we don't like crowds and loud venues, we tend to obsess and geek out over weird things, and it is hard to find someone who has the same interests to geek out over. Knowing that doesn't make it suck any less though. 

Life, Food and Arting

 Hideyho neighborinos! 

 It's been a minute since I have posted anything here, and it has been a wild couple of years. The plague years were rough. We didn't lose any friends or family, but a lot of people did. Both myself and my partner contracted it in the early days, and mine segued into long form. Luckily our adult son escaped it, although his biofather and biofather's wife wife contracted it. Due to health and lifestyle issues they both had very severe effects, which caused my ex to have a massive stoke he will not recover from and is in steady decline, and eventually took the life of his wife after she was sick for a year.  

 2023 was a sucktacular year for me. We had been on the cusp of moving for a while, with the partner's job jerking him back and forth about it. The stress as well as other things was causing my own decade long health issues to get worse, and I started trying to go through the medical community to find out just wtf was wrong. I finally gave up on doctors when I was met with a runaround of multiple different specialists claiming I didn't have MS/thyroid issues/rheumatoid arthritis/cortisol issues/whatever their specialty was. GPs are worthless unless you have basic sniffles, a sprain or need a cut stitched up. After having one not even examine me (He rested two fingertips on the back of my forearm for less than 10 seconds, I have wondered if that was some sort of state requirement that he actually had to touch me to get paid.) stared at his computer in silence for 5 minutes then threw two pill scripts at and told me I would be taking them for the rest of my life.) and another tell me I needed a battery of expensive tests not covered by insurance, I fired them and began my own search to fix myself. 

 Putting my college training in research methods to use, I started researching. And did more research. And even more research, wading through medical papers, videos, podcasts, webpages, anything I could find related to the issues I was having. Totally by accident I stumbled across a video by a Dr. Ken Berry, and that's when I began to find some answers. From there I went to Dr. Cywes, Dr. Saladino, and a host of other medical professions who have grown sick and tired of the gaslighting and patient abuse-for-cash of their field, and embarked on their own journeys to return to actually healing people instead of creating lifelong shills for Big Pharma. 

 I started cutting carbs, then eased into keto, then finally carnivore over the course of a year. I was losing weight at first, then when I transitioned to carnivore, my weight shot up by 24 pounds (I was in the 240s when I started.) and refused to budge. All the carnivore 'experts' claimed this was normal, natural and I should just let it happen. Body fat, however, was shrinking at an exponential rate. So I continued with carnivore, eating 95% animals products, all the things the doctor influencers claimed I needed. I was seeing a huge reduction in inflammation, stomach issues, moods, lots of things. The carnivore diet was working great.....until it didn't. 

 A week before Thanksgiving I started to feel not so good. I developed a lower backache that only seemed to be getting worse by the hour. Then hours of nausea, finally throwing up while my lower insides were on fire with pain. I went to the urgent care clinic, thinking I had developed a massive kidney/bladder infection. They took a sample and sent me home with antibiotics. After 2 days they called to tell me it was not an infection, I was clear. The discolored urine said different, and then it suddenly occurred to me that I had passed a sizeable kidney stone. I had one 25 years ago, and stopped drinking sodas which the doc claimed was the cause, and never had another one until now. 

 So back into the research, as I continued to have kidney pain and pass small stones every few days. While many of the carnivore influencers claimed carnivore healed their kidney disease, I started to run across stories of people having the same issues as me. After suffering for weeks, I made the decision to add some carbs back into my diet by way of berries. The pain started to ease after just a few days, so I added organic honey to my fruit and homemade yogurt, watching my blood sugar since I had started this journey due to upwards creeping blood sugar numbers. 

 As I continued to improve, I delved into deeper research on proper diet for our species. We are developed biologically to eat and thrive on a range of materials, plant and animal. For me personally I seem to do the best on animal products, low oxalate veg and fruit. ('Fruit' includes anything with seeds, like squash, tomatoes, cucumbers, etc.) We've been on this way of eating for a few weeks, and I am seeing weight finally dropping, kidney finally healing, and I'm no longer constantly tired.  

 Now, to the arting section. I did get a third book published in the Salvage series, a collaboration with my partner. I have been working on the house again since we are staying, adding artistic touches here and there as we remodel, as well as working on some sculptures and other things. I am also in the process of editing and doing the cover art for my partner's latest novel in his supernatural series. While I am not at a point to write another book, I decided to return to blogging for a bit to scratch the writing itch.

Things are slowly getting better from the clusterfuck it has been the last few years, and I can only hope it will continue.