Children and time

 Talking to a friend this morning, and she commented that she was suffering from what I like to call "Mommy burnout syndrome". Her oldest is entering puberty, which is such a fun age in a young person's like. NOT! (Every mother out there who has lived with a teenager is nodding their head right now.) 

 Mommy burnout happens right about the time puberty hits. Your precious sweet little baby who you cared for through earaches, broken toys, the Terrible Twos and the start of school becomes a demon possessed spawn of evil, and it happens so fast you are left sitting in the dust thinking "What the hell just happened?" 

  During this period, nothing you can say or do is right, and unfortunately, this is the time when the little heathens NEED to listen to the wisdom you have to impart to them, things they are going to need in their young adult life. Too bad their ears are stopped up by hormones and not a damn thing you say is really going to sink in. Like the line in True Lies, their parents are now Axel Rose and Madonna, or whatever teen pop icon is out there at the time. 

  In tribal societies, it is common for adolescents to be fostered by another adult, (This does not mean the same thing as it does in modern Western society.) since they will more often listen to someone who is not their parent. This foster parent is the one responsible for teaching them the things they need to be functioning adults. The foster parent also is someone the young person can go to with issues they wouldn't feel comfortable talking to their parents about, like dating/relationship/sex issues. 

 In modern Western society, we do not have that safety net of being able to hand off our teenagers when they hit the point that even the simplest thing sets them off, like asking what they want for supper or how their day was. This causes the Mommy Burnout (Daddies get it too, but not as bad unless they are the primary caretaker.) that is so prevelent today. We really need to be able to hand off our teens at least part of the time to someone who they will actually listen to. Most people expect the school system to do so, and while many educators are wonderful in helping, but they can not give the one-on-one attention a developing young person needs, their time demands are so massive. In the lucky families, there is often a relative willing and able to take on the task, but since WWII, the nuclear family being pushed as 'the norm', the tribal aspect of family was lost. Due to the economy over the last several years, generational living is becoming more common in this country again, where the family stays together, with the older retired relatives taking care of the children while the younger family members go out and earn a living.

 If you don't have someone you can hand your child off to when they are behaving like Bevis and Butthead, I have had parents tell me that things like summer camp and activities like hobby/interest groups help relieve that constant barrage of hormones that we are forced to endure. if you are currently raising an adolescent, I feel for you, been there, done that. The good news is usually by their mid-twenties they will level out and become quasi-human adults. Just remember, this too shall pass. Take a deep breath, hang on to your hat, and good luck!  

 

Things Proceeding Apace

 Now that we are out and about in the Pagan community again, we are needing space to do Pagan things. So after looking at the back space that we only use for compost and storage, I have decided to build a Temple and guesthouse. This is the space as it looks now: 

 It's pretty rough at the moment, but I think it has the potential to be a really cool and unusual ritual space. I'll post as things progress.
 

Sunday, Sunday, SUNDAY!

 Okay, so it's not NASCAR, or a tractor pull, it's time once again for Pagan & Eggs! 
 What is P&E, you ask? It is a monthly gathering of Pagans who come together and have brunch and catch up on what's going on in the North Austin area Pagan community.  

 We met our current batch of peeps when I saw a post pop up on Facebook about a Pagan event. I always check to see where they are, and this one was right down the street, so I decided to give it a try. We went, and met a whole new group of people who were not the angry bitter Pagans who forced us to stop attending anything, because of the backstabbing political maneuvering that goes on. We wanted a group we could hang out with and NOT be hassled by angry glares or outright hostility because we decided to talk to someone not on the 'approved' list. This group definitely fits the bill.They are also mostly a Druid grove, and as I got my start at the Druid College, and lean more towards European shamanism, I am definitely enjoying the discussions. I get SO tired of Wiccans, they can be mind numbingly tedious and very few actually live by the Rede. 

 With Shawn becoming interested in his Northmen heritage, I have been looking into the Volva, the female shaman/wisewomen of the Norse. The Volva and shamans of the North are very similar to the American Indian shaman, which I think shows yet another possible link to northern Europeans who migrated across the Siberian land bridge. 

 The behavior and acceptance of this new group has been just what I needed. I was wanting to return to the community, but I did not want to have to face the angry bitter people any more. Just the thought of going to a CMA/ESA/FoG event grits my teeth. And that is sad that I was forced to leave a community where I was one of the original members because of the hate filled people who inhabit it. Luckily most of those persons live south, and we seldom if ever see them at any of our events.