So very tired

 I live in constant pain. Due to youthful stupidity, I have broken my body in some spectacular ways. After falling during an exercise walk 5 years ago, I damaged even more. And age is creeping up on me, and not helping at all.

 On a scale from 1-10, the daily pain runs anywhere from 5 to 10. Never less these days. Being in this much pain makes me a bit on the mean side. Sometimes more than a bit. I can either take drugs that cause me to gain weight and keep it on, or I can not take drugs, and be in excruciating pain. And let's not forget having kidney disease makes the docs unwilling to give me much of anything. Quite the catch 22.

 Some days I just want to lay in bed and cry. Today is one of those days. I can't concentrate on anything enough to be even the slightest bit productive. Today's pain is running a solid 9. Sleep is something I remember fondly. I don't sleep much when there is this much pain. I haven't had any 'spoons' in some time. Work this week is not going to be fun.

 Even things that others take for granted, like being able to go to the grocery store, is a major ordeal. Sometimes walking to the mailbox is too much. And it never, ever stops. Not even for one single moment.

 I am so very tired.....