Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Speed kills, but first it makes you an asshole

I am watching two ppl committing slow suicide. One is a musician who is prescription pill addict. The other is a musician who has fallen back into speed. It's really hard watching the slow slide of two people who are smart and talented, and know better. The cold dead hand of addiction has grasped them in its bony fist, and doesn't look like it will let them go this time.
I know why musicians turn to drugs. Playing is painful. It looks easy, but a couple of hours playing makes your body feel like a 10 hour shift at the steel mill. The drugs dull the pain, ease the exhaustion, but they do more harm than good.
My bass player had it all twice; speed took it away both times. My drummer friend feels like there's nothing left, since most of her friends have fallen away because of her pill use. She has become a user of people as well, she never calls unless it is to take her to get her fix at the so-called 'pain management clinic'.
My bass player is smart, funny and great fun to be around. Unless he's tweeking. Then he's a loud asshole. I dropped the band a few years ago because of his speed use, looks like I might have to do it again. I have all but cut my drummer friend off because after I said my piece, she has decided to continue on her path of destruction. I'm sad. Very very sad. And depressed over this. But I also know that I have to save myself, or get drawn into their drug induced drama. Both of them do nothing at this point except drugs and sleep. Pass. thanks. I have entirely too much life and talent to wait around for that. I learned my lesson a long time ago, and I can't help them. I tried, and got burned for my effort. Never again.

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